TEXT MESSAGING MAKES ME THINK

A couple of weeks ago I drove past a middle school just as the students were being let out for the day. I noticed something rather odd: many youngsters were walking quickly, but all of their attention was focused on their cell phones, where their little thumbs were furiously text messaging.

My first thought was, Wow, if I tried to walk while looking at my phone right in front of my face, I’d get motion sickness. My second thought was, If I did that I wouldn’t have time to get motion sickness because within five seconds I would walk face-first into a telephone pole.

I was actually rather impressed by the kids’ ability to concentrate on their thumb-typing and not get seasick or walk into a pole or a tree or the path of a speeding truck. On the other hand, maybe I just happened to see a small sampling of school children who momentarily appeared to be walking safely. Middle school teachers might be able to correct me if they’ve been seeing a large number of students show up for class with lumps on their foreheads from walking into telephone poles, scratches across their cheeks from walking into low-hanging tree branches, or tire marks on the back of their skulls from wandering onto the Interstate.

My next thought (possibly my third or fourth thought at that point, I’ve lost track) was to wonder: What in the world is so urgent that they have to send text messages right now? It can’t wait 30 seconds?

While talking with a friend the other day, he mentioned that he had to change his 13-year-old daughter’s cell phone plan to include unlimited text messaging because she was averaging 2500 messages per month. My next thought was, Twenty-five-hundred messages per month?! I haven’t had 2500 thoughts in the last year, including all my thoughts about youngsters who text-message!

That works out to over 80 text messages a day. I have entire days when I don’t say 80 words. I asked my friend what his daughter possibly could be writing in those 80-plus messages per day, and where did she find the time to do it, as it would take me all day to type out 80 separate messages.

He explained that both outgoing and incoming messages are counted. So her 80 per day was really 40 sent and 40 received. Oh, that made me feel better. She ONLY sends 40 per day, which is ONLY about 1200 per month. Sheesh!

Then he told me a typical text conversation was not exactly the Lincoln-Douglas debates, and usually included cryptic text messaging shorthand. Here is a typical text conversation (including translation of the shorthand):

Jill: ? (“What’s up?”)

Jane: n2m (“Not too much”)

Jill: dyswswwimc? (“Did you see what she was wearing in math class?!!”)

Jane: omg (“Oh my God!”)

Jill: waf (“What a freak!”)

Jane: gtg (“Got to go”)

Jill: ttfn (“Ta ta, for now”)

Jane: ly (“Love ya”)

That particular meeting of the minds counted as eight messages on each youngster’s cell plan. Now I can start to see how someone can rack up 80 per day.

I haven’t decided yet whether text messaging is good, bad, or neutral regarding a child’s emotional and intellectual development. That would require another thought, but I’ve used my quota for today. But just to be safe, if kids are going to walk and text at the same time, they should wear bicycle helmets. Or at least they should take Dramamine.